According to the "experts," you have to actually give birth to a baby before you can officially become a parent.
Maybe I'm in the minority here but something about squeezing a human the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a large grapefruit fails to appeals to my delicate sensibility. Funny how you forget about all of that in the hullabulloo of pregnancy and baby anticipation. It appears that in order for you to hold your child and proceed with playing house, you must first endure agonizing labor and excruciating pain whilst resisting the urge to scream abuses at the now withered spouse who got you in this position to begin with.
Once again, I am reminded of the importance of reading the fine print in these darn pregnancy books littered throughout the house--each one abandoned at the chapter regarding labor.
Really you would think that given all of the advances in modern science that they would have conjured up a way to extract children from mothers without all of the fuss of surgery or forceps or physical maneouvering. At the very least, it seems reasonable for us to have made the process a bit more straightforward about delivery specifications. Is it too much to ask whether my child's head will be small enough to fit through my gateway to the free world? Or maybe they could just give me a window of time regarding how long this process will take? You know, kind of like the window they give you when you need your cable installed--October 17 between the hours of 1am and 5pm. I'm just asking for a little something here. Throw me a bone, huh?
But alas, I'm told that those questions and others relating to exactly how cute my baby will be (within a reasonable scope) have yet to be individually specified so we've been advised to learn about the things that medical professionals have discovered about the birthing business. So tonight and alllllll weekend, we're off to our childbirth classes to learn all of the details that hold no appeal like what a placenta looks like or how scared a real father gets at the impending arrival of his child or how quickly a fairly composed women loses all dignity in the throws of mindnumbing agony.
Sounds absolutely delightful, doesn't it? I can't wait.
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3 comments:
can't wait to hear your post after the class. How's J holding up? You?
OH MY GOD!!!!!
Only 45 more days! WOO HOO!
This is SO exciting!
Great pics!
mf
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