So, we're here. In Berlin. We made it. Five weeks down, many more to go.
After close to 30 days in Berlin without a television, phone, or the internet, we are reconnected with the real world. Well, almost.
We still have no television. ("I sorry, Herr B, but the machine is not kommt today. Maybe diese week.")
I can't figure out what the annoying German lady says on the phone when a message is left on our answering machine.
My cell number begins in a 4 and ends in a 7 but contains a "ginormous" (now an official word in Webster's Dictionary if you must know) string of numbers in between making me break out in a cold sweat whenever anyone asks me for it. "I, I. Hell, I don't know it. Let me call you and you'll get it that way."
Instead of annoying pop-ups in English, they're coming in German. I received a pop up from the University of Liverpool this afternoon. I asked for a brochure regarding their online MBA program. Do I want a MBA, you ask? Or even better, could I even pinpoint Liverpool on a map? No, but I was feeling particularly lost today.
Not lost like sobbing or homesick lost but that special sort of lost you can only feel when you move half-way across the globe with absolutely no idea what you will do with your life.
I keep asking myself, "Nikki, what do you want to do?" And then myself stares back and gives me a complicated answer in German...totally unhelpful. Doesn't she/I know I've only reached level I proficiency?
I mean, yes, I'm a wife and I'm very lucky to have married my best friend and this is an opportunity to focus on what we want in life. But I'm only 30 for heaven's sake. Is my life as a professional women over? Will I ever make any freaking friends? Will Josie and Ramsey stop following me around the house? ("Is it breakfast time? Is it dinner time? Time for a walk? Time for a scratch? Wait, you're leaving? Can we come with?")
Sigh.
But okay, if I'm honest with myself, this is what we've dreamed about for years. Moving to Europe to follow a dream. Having the opportunity to pop into London, Paris, or Madrid for a weekend (for as little as 60 Euros, btw). Meeting international friends and getting a real feel for that global nomad culture that has always been so compelling. The cheese. The bread. The pastry. Oh my.
We will be happy here. I know it. I will be happy here. I am confident that I will find something worthwhile to do here. In the meantime, I have to remind myself that everyone takes time to adjust and that with more friends and new experiences I'll figure this thing out.
As Mom loves to say:"to make a friend, you've got to be a friend." Or to paraphrase my friend Serrita: "Woman, stop second guessing people who want to get to know you and just be open to the experience."
So, this is me trying to be open to the experience. Trying to step outside of my comfort zone and my need to control everything to enjoy this wild ride like it should be enjoyed.
Hands up. Eyes closed. Nose wide-open.
After close to 30 days in Berlin without a television, phone, or the internet, we are reconnected with the real world. Well, almost.
We still have no television. ("I sorry, Herr B, but the machine is not kommt today. Maybe diese week.")
I can't figure out what the annoying German lady says on the phone when a message is left on our answering machine.
My cell number begins in a 4 and ends in a 7 but contains a "ginormous" (now an official word in Webster's Dictionary if you must know) string of numbers in between making me break out in a cold sweat whenever anyone asks me for it. "I, I. Hell, I don't know it. Let me call you and you'll get it that way."
Instead of annoying pop-ups in English, they're coming in German. I received a pop up from the University of Liverpool this afternoon. I asked for a brochure regarding their online MBA program. Do I want a MBA, you ask? Or even better, could I even pinpoint Liverpool on a map? No, but I was feeling particularly lost today.
Not lost like sobbing or homesick lost but that special sort of lost you can only feel when you move half-way across the globe with absolutely no idea what you will do with your life.
I keep asking myself, "Nikki, what do you want to do?" And then myself stares back and gives me a complicated answer in German...totally unhelpful. Doesn't she/I know I've only reached level I proficiency?
I mean, yes, I'm a wife and I'm very lucky to have married my best friend and this is an opportunity to focus on what we want in life. But I'm only 30 for heaven's sake. Is my life as a professional women over? Will I ever make any freaking friends? Will Josie and Ramsey stop following me around the house? ("Is it breakfast time? Is it dinner time? Time for a walk? Time for a scratch? Wait, you're leaving? Can we come with?")
Sigh.
But okay, if I'm honest with myself, this is what we've dreamed about for years. Moving to Europe to follow a dream. Having the opportunity to pop into London, Paris, or Madrid for a weekend (for as little as 60 Euros, btw). Meeting international friends and getting a real feel for that global nomad culture that has always been so compelling. The cheese. The bread. The pastry. Oh my.
We will be happy here. I know it. I will be happy here. I am confident that I will find something worthwhile to do here. In the meantime, I have to remind myself that everyone takes time to adjust and that with more friends and new experiences I'll figure this thing out.
As Mom loves to say:"to make a friend, you've got to be a friend." Or to paraphrase my friend Serrita: "Woman, stop second guessing people who want to get to know you and just be open to the experience."
So, this is me trying to be open to the experience. Trying to step outside of my comfort zone and my need to control everything to enjoy this wild ride like it should be enjoyed.
Hands up. Eyes closed. Nose wide-open.
5 comments:
Hi Nicole or should I say Nikki,
As usual, it was great hearing from you. Time and patience are commodities that are unfamiliar to you but you must learn to accept them as temporary gift because they will not last long...relax and enjoy them.
Your career will be larger than anything you have imagined. Use this down time to polish up on your new language ( No matter how ugly it is) and travel, travel, travel, so that you can advise me first hand where to go during my vist with you next year. Enjoy your pets for they too are adjusting to a new environment and you and John are all that they have.
I know it is a big adjustment for John as well and although he may not show it, I am certain he has asked himself several times "Did I do the right thing?" He did and you both will reap significant benefits later. Very few individuals have this opportunity for career advancement so you must seize the moment and take one day at a time. It will all balance out because that is the way life is. We are extremely proud of both of you and these two years will be fleeting memories very soon.
Remember that with your brains and feet you can go any and every where. And you will!
Good bless you and keep you strong.
Stay happy,
Thelma
Nik,
You've inspired me to read blogs. I've never really read long blogs because people tend to just run on and on about nothing that I understand. But I do believe its an excellent way to journal and keep account of the many adventures you experience. Way to go Nik! I'm proud of you for diving into Germany head first.
I've heard great things about Germany and most people that move over there do not want to come back to America. Enjoy every little thing. Don't forget to take in some not so obvious beauty.
Be Blessed!
Bran
Way to start the blog! Can't wait to read more!
I was wondering what you did with the pets!
Hello Nicole,
It was great hearing from you. I read Thelma's comments and she is so right. In everything, there is a purpose. You may not readily know or understand the reasons and benefits of this adventure, but in time you will. Always know that you have a strong support base in your family, friends and extended APS family. Thank you for allowing us to live this exciting journey through you. Hopefully, I will be able to visit.
Best regards,to you and John,
Kathy Augustine
Hi Nicole or should I say Nikki, As usual, it was great hearing from you. Time and patience are commodities that are unfamiliar to you but you must learn to accept them as temporary gift because they will not last long...relax and enjoy them. Your career will be larger than anything you have imagined. Use this down time to polish up on your new language ( No matter how ugly it is) and travel, travel, travel, so that you can advise me first hand where to go during my vist with you next year. Enjoy your pets for they too are adjusting to a new environment and you and John are all that they have. I know it is a big adjustment for John as well and although he may not show it, I am certain he has asked himself several times "Did I do the right thing?" He did and you both will reap significant benefits later. Very few individuals have this opportunity for career advancement so you must seize the moment and take one day at a time. It will all balance out because that is the way life is. We are extremely proud of both of you and these two years will be fleeting memories very soon. Remember that with your brains and feet you can go any and every where. And you will! Good bless you and keep you strong. Stay happy, Thelma
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