Excuses, excuses

We have a gym membership at this club that touts itself as "Berlin's Most Exclusive Spa and Recreation Studio." This is the same gym where, during our introductory tour, two naked women and a naked child ran past us outside of the sauna and the membership coordinator told us very sheepishly that while they had air conditioning the unit was too small for the building.

"Oh, does this explain the nakeness?" I ask.

"Nope, that's just a German thing. We don't sauna in bathing suits for hygenic reasons." I'm told.

Hmmm. If that's hygenic, I don't want any part, thank you.

Step inside the gym during a day when it's over 25 degrees Celcius and you'll understand why we don't need to go to the sauna to sweat (naked members aside). In fact, we don't need to work out at all. Even the pool is set to a toasty 20 degrees. Heat radiates off the surface of the water so much that everytime I walk past it my hair gets frizzed.

So, understanding that the only thing I hate to do more than sweat is to sweat during a workout, it's not suprising to learn that I hate going to the gym. It just makes me angry that I'm paying someone to hurt me, to question my cravings for gelato, and to induce profucious (sp?) funk from people who haven't bathed in days.

What kills me is that I seem to be the only one put out by the lack of cold air. In fact, many of my compatriots dress in spandex pants and long sleeve shirts while tying the free towels around their necks to prevent themselves from catching cold. All this when it's the equalivent of 80 degrees outside. There is an inherent fear of drafts in this country. Opening a window at the gym to let in a breeze is an offense equal to washing your car on a Sunday or eating with your hand in your lap at the dinner table. It is strictly verboten.

To counteract my distaste for the stationary bike and abductor machine, I've come up with some pithy reasons for why I am justified not to go. I made a list about them. Want to see them? Here you go:

1. I'm on my period...shouldn't overexert myself. Such a handy excuse, this one. I give myself a pass for alot of things using this all-purpose reason.

2. I'm going through an expatriate transition. This move has taken a toll on my emotional, spirtual, and physical well being. I need to rest in order to stave off sickness or a work-out induced neurotic episode.

2. It's the week before my period and I'm bloated and tired. I should rest to prepare myself for the coming week.

3. I walked to German class today and took the stairs to the apartment. So what if our apartment is on the first floor. The stairs must count for something, right?

4. It's raining. Another handy one to whip out a moment's notice....especially given the fact that it rains just about every day.

5. I only ate one marizipan croissant this morning and I haven't had a gelato in hours.

6. I just washed my hair. If you've ever seen the ritual that is washing and straightening my hair, you'll appreciate why this reason is valid.

7. I have a headache. Geez, who wouldn't?

8. My back still hurts from working out two weeks ago. I should rest to prepare myself for the next workout.

9. Learning German is hard, damn-it. No need to torture yourself anymore today.

10. I have cramps. Again, this one gets me off guilt-free every time.

11. In some cultures, women are revered for their chubby thighs and flabby arms. Who am I to question their judgement and to conform to the standards of this sexist Western society?

12. The Young and the Restless is coming on and I shouldn't deny myself the rare pleasure of watching American trash tv...... Man, those women are fit, I need to get my ass to the gym!

Happy Birthday, Baby

Thirty (ah-hem)...something years ago today, a sweet little baby was born. A happy, chubby, little brown thing that was to become the apple of his parent's eye and a real joy for alot of people.

Charismatic from the start, he charmed everyone he met. In time, the only thing that matched his generous personality was his natural wit and intellect. He is a lover, not a fighter. An easy comedian and a loyal friend. A devoted husband and a doting son. A romantic and a dreamer. A thoughtful planner and a spontaneous adventurer. Dashingly handsome and always up for a good time, he is a renaissance man in every way.

I've always been a bit in awe of how easily he gives of himself and am refreshed daily by what a truly great guy he is. I can attest to the fact that he is as funny and caring in the comfort of our home as he is in public and in time I've grown to realize the rarity of that trait. He is my best friend and my heart and I am confident that there will never be a shortage of love in his house as long as he is in it.

So, here's to you, my sweet, lovely husband. May you have thirty(-something) times more birthdays ahead of you. I can't wait to share them with you.

Love always, me

Cha, Cha, Cha...

Charmin! Yes, they sell Charmin toilet paper in Berlin. I was so excited when I saw it in the supermarket the other day that I nearly screamed out loud with glee. Finding my favorite brand of toilet paper shouldn't make me this happy, but, boy, does it. We've tried a couple of brands and were sorely (pun intended) disappointed with them. You can get yourself cut with some of this stuff so what a relief it was to find a little something of home right in our own backyard.

I've been a bit of a toilet paper snob for some time now but had lowered my expectations when we arrived. In fact, I'd lowered my expectations about alot of things hoping that surprises, like these, would mean more to me. I'm glad I did because I think it's one of the reasons I haven't had a meltdown. Like J says, we can alter our expectations without compromising our standards. So what if you get crepes, instead of pancakes here? They are both served for breakfast and can be equally delicious. Of course, to his chagrin, you can't find instant oatmeal in Berlin--a point that J claims might make him skip breakfast on weekdays indefinitely. Good thing he has a $60 shipment being hand-delivered from Atlanta this week! Not every convenience can be replaced.

It's a bad habit but I'm finding myself making mental notes of what is better here, what is better in the US, and what is pretty much the same. The ice cream is definitely better here and cheaper. The shop down the street makes sublime, homemade gelato that can't be compared with anything I've tasted back home. I've been known to dream about the stuff! (Score one big point for Germany) Parking stinks here but so does it in many American cities. Parking pains are universal. (US - Germany tie) Customer service is pretty much non-existent in Berlin but when you come across a friendly waiter or sales associate it's much more meaningful. (Only one for USA because you are also not required to tip more than 10% for poor restaurant service and no one at clothing stores walks behind you to make a sell....a real relief sometimes.) Germany's commitment to recycling can't be beat even if it becomes a bit beauracratic. You have to sort all plastic, metal, haz mat, food, and paper in different garbage disposals. You have to buy groceries bags at the store or bring your own and washing a load of laundry takes about 3 hours in a water conserving machine. (Germany scores 3 points.) But watching the deplorable German t.v. shows proves why US culture has so influenced the rest of the world. No one creates shows or movies like we do and they shouldn't even try to compete. Luckily, we have an amazing device that routes tv shows from the US so we watch Primetime at 2 am; and there is a Sony Theatre that shows all American movies in English. (Another 3 points for the USA ) Finally, the standards of cleanliness are definite cultural differences as the health departments in Berlin must have other bridges to burn. Eating pastry that has flies and yellow jackets swarming around them does not a marketing strategy make. We eat outside whenever possible to avoid seeing something we wish we hadn't. (US - 3 points.)

My list goes on and on and for now, the US still comes out on top. I know that when I stop making lists I will have come closer to integrating. It's funny how much these little things mean when you are in transition. Finding Charmin, honestly, made me feel a little less foreign, a little more at ease, and slightly more encouraged that moving here wasn't such a big sacrafice after all. If you can find your favorite toilet paper, surely you can make other new discoveries and perhaps even come across some European brands that you favor over American ones.

Hmmm, Chocolate and bread being two important pluses! Okay, four more points for Germany....

Wake me and tell me I'm dreaming

Last night, I had the weirdest dream. (strike and insert: nightmare.)

I dreamt that I was sleeping when there was a knock on our bedroom window. With the fog of sleep still in my brain, I opened the window to see a man standing there. When I asked him what he wanted, he said that he would like to buy two first class tickets to Potsdam--a city a few miles outside of Berlin city center. To that, I told him that I didn't sell tickets to Potsdam and went back to bed.

No sooner than I had gotten under the covers did another knock wake me. This time, more annoyed and more confused, I looked out to find another man and a line of people standing behind him.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"A U-Bahn subway ticket to the Freidrickstrasse station, please." He replied.

At this point, I start noticing magazines on my windowsill and gum and candy stacked in front of them. Unfazzed, I told the man that I didn't sell tickets to the U-Bahn and that he must be in the wrong place, thank you. Please leave.

"Then, why," asked the man more frustrated now, "did I have an awning advertising as such?"

To this, I pushed myself out of the window and was shocked to find that, in deed, my bedroom window had become a cheap, touristy ticket counter. Confused and bewildered in the way you can only get when you've been awakened in the middle of deep REM sleep I asked J if he knew anything about this.

"Yes." He said. "I thought opening a ticket kiosk might make us some money. You'd be perfect at it."

"But, I don't want to sell tickets out of our bedroom window in my pj's!" I cried.

"Too bad. You're not doing anything here and we need the money, so get used to it." He said and walked away. End of story.

The dream was so vivid I woke up angry at him. How could I have married such a controlling tyrant and what did he take me for selling subway tickets from our bedroom window? Oh, wait a second that was just a dream, I remembered.

I told John about it this morning when I woke up .

"Wow." He grinned sarcastically. "It would take a professional to analyze that one. What could it all mean?"

Ha.

Bad German Week

Ok, Ok, I admit it. I have no choice but to do so now that I've been caught. You just can't run from reality once the cold hard facts have been slammed in your face.

It's official. My. German. Stinks. And everyone knows it. (Read: my teacher, me, and anyone else who's unfortunate enough to read my weekly ramblings.)

After receiving an awful grade on a progress report, I've been placed on the remedial track--the track for students who can't quite pick up the language. The track for students who are too damn lazy to study that with which they struggle. The track for students with "special needs."

The sad part is that it's a one-on-one class so if I'm on the remedial track that means that my whole class (read: me and my teacher) is a self-contained special needs class. I haven't felt this special since 7th grade algebra.

It started out innocently enough--a declension here, a list of vocab words , and a bit on sentence structure there. And then, somewhere around the chapter on assigning gender to objects and distinguishing the difference between dative and accusative sentences I got lost. I mean really lost. I mean breaking out in a cold sweat when asked to form a sentence lost. And, it's been that way ever since.

I would be lying if I didn't say that I've been cocky. I mean, I'm only doing this for J, right? I had no interest in learning German before our move. Why would I? I also thought I didn't need to study because up until I now my teacher has been pleased with my progress. In fact, in spite of the poor performance this week, I still received high marks for fluency and comprehension but the stupid grammar is kicking my butt.

So this week, I've trying to piece back together my ego and figure out a way to recover my dignity. With some more work, hopefully things will turn up.

Otherwise, I guess I need to start rehearsing my lines with Frankie Avalon in my debut performance as Frenchie in "German School Drop-out."

Auf Wiedersehen, Friends

Well, the Bennetts left on Saturday and to say that it made me sad would be an understatement. I expected some tears but I didn't expect to feel more alone now than before they came. Man, it hurt and I've been trying to get my bearings back ever since.

We had been looking forward to having friends in town pretty much since we arrived here. Until they came, I was starting to forget how easy it is when you are around people who know you and like you. So having them come and leave so quickly was a shock to the system. Their visit was like a breathe of fresh air and their leaving was like getting punched in the stomach. Sigh, they're gone, I thought. Now, what?

If I'm honest, I think I equated their leaving with leaving my old life behind. We're not in college anymore so we can't pop into each other's room when we need a giggle or a hug. We're married now so we have higher responsibilities to our husbands. Tia's a mother so she has even greater responsibilities still and we live thousands of miles apart now. Our easy friendship will never be easy again. And if our friendship which, in spite of all of the obstacles, is easy, what does that say about my others? How will those change?

It also made me sad to think that, with a few exceptions, Tia and Sean are the friends we most expected to visit. There are a whole host of others who would like to come but given the distance, cost of a ticket, and family/financial obligations will probably never make it here. After they left, John and I starting talking about who else we would like to see and the probability of their actually coming. Our list was depressingly short. There aren't going to be many more "Bennett visits" left for us and we still have 2 years left. If I'm going to make any sort of a life for myself here, no matter how short, I'm going to need to make some friends. But how?

Lastly, it just broke my heart to see that sweet little girl leave. By the time she left, she was so comfortable with us. The shyness that she exhibited during the first few days had virtually disappeared and that thrilled us. The last time I saw her--a year ago-- she was just starting to build up her vocabulary and now she is speaking in full sentences, starting to spell, and exercising the little comedian in her. How much will she have changed the next time we see her? And will she so openly accept Auntie and Uncle John the next time?

So, there has been a Bennett shaped hole in the B universe this week and we wish it would be filled again soon. One thing that struck me during their visit is how lucky we are to have friends like them and how comfortable things were from the beginning. In spite of the fact that we've not seen each other for a year,

we picked up where we left off. True friends will remain friends regardless of the circumstances. Visits, alone, do not demonstrate their sincerity. Emails, prayers, phone calls, and other reflections of love do.

Will it be easy to keep these bonds in tact? No, but all friendships worth having require some effort to maintain. Will the relationships change one way or the other? Absolutely, but time would have made it so in spite of our move. Am I developing a much stronger appreciation for all of our friends and loved ones back home? You better believe it.

For more pictures of our visit with the Bennetts, please follow this link to my Flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/gp/9997610@N02/Z361BW.

Berlin--through fresh eyes

There are many great things about having friends in town but high up on the list is the ability to see your city from a new perspective.

Even though we've only been in Berlin for two months, we were already beginning to grow numb to the beauty, oddity, and excitement that living in a new city brings. That "Pinch me, I'm in Europe" feeling was already growing thin and turning into something more like "Pinch me and wake me up from this horrible German tragedy." Tia and Sean's trip couldn't have come at a better time and it allowed us to step back a bit and recalibrate.

These are some of the things they reminded us of:

1. Biking in Berlin is popular because it's a scenic and visually stimulating city that you can not truly appreciate in a car. Tia and Sean are both avid bikers so I knew that the best way for them to appreciate it was on a bike. We lucked out and got a bit of sun on Wednesday and took a wonderful 6 hour bike tour through Berlin. All three of us learned alot and now I have a list of places I want to go back and explore in greater detail.

2. Beer can be appreciated by people who claim not to like it. Everyone knows that Germany is not known for its food outside of beer and wursts. One of the first questions friends have asked us back home is whether we've enjoyed the beer here. Unfortunately, neither one of us are big beer drinkers so before this week we couldn't comment. But on Thursday we learned that the industrious Berliners have found a way to court even the most finicky drinkers. To call it a beer would be insulting to beer officionatos but Berlin has created a beer cocktail with grenadine in it and it's great. Doesn't taste like beer at all, in fact, which is the point I guess. I never could get them into currywurst though.....

3. Some Germans are nice, others...not so much. Some of our biggest laughs this week has been seeing their reaction to how truly awful people can treat you in this city. Tia and I were scolded for asking in Prague to taste the ice cream before buying, told that although it was possible we would absolutely not be permitted to have blueberries put inside our pancakes, questioned for wanting our eggs freshly scrambled when fake ones had already been cooked, and told in no uncertain terms that the train ticket we used to board the train to Prague was not a valid one. The key to it is learning not to take anything personally, give back as much as you get (auf English, bitte), and to take it in stride. Quite a few laughs were had this week as we relived these absurdities.

4. If for no other reason, living here makes our lives interesting. I won't minimalize the difficulty of starting to adjust to living in a foreign culture. I will say, however, that having the Bennetts visit reminded both of us how rare of an opportunity ours is and how rich our memories and our marriage will be as a result. Even in this short week, we have done so much--none of which would have occured had we not been transferred here. To have friends, like Tia and Sean (and we luckily have many like them), come to visit only enrichs our experience and we hope their visit encourages other friends to follow suit. (Hint. Hint.) Two years will fly by fast so we plan to soak in every ounce of the journey. With any luck, we'll have our pals to share it with.

Prague....as advertised

Some of our closest friends, the Bennetts, became our first official visitors to Berlin this week.





It's not surprising that they'd be the first because they've always been some of our biggest cheerleaders and two of our most compatible travel companions. Tia and I met in college and have been great friends ever since. And we're very lucky that our husbands get along almost as well as we do. When the four of us get together, it's like we've never been apart so there has been a lot of happiness in Chez B's this week thanks to them.


Their visit inspired a trip to Prague last weekend and I have to say that the city far exceeded our expectations. You never truly know whether a city as hyped up as Prague will live up to the pub but this one certainly did. Beautiful architecture, cobblestone streets, cheap food--what more can you ask for? Even though the weather stunk, it is one of the most pictureque cities I have seen. We enjoyed every minute and would recommend the trip to anyone traveling to this neck of the woods.

Instead of boring you with more details of the trip, I've attached pictures for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!



View of the Charles Bridge





Prague Castle


Astrological Clock


Lunch with good friends